Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
