uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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