im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
