Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
