woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
