windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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