Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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