oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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