I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
