Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize