If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
