She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
