We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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