im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
