I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
