The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying