We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
