I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
