I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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