I hope mine doesn't look like that
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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