Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My vagina is very pro this idea
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
