we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
