I'm drive I can fine osifer
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize