he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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