Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Shame is for Republicans.
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