My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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