Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
