is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize