I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Randomize
