Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
