You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
