guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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