Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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