Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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