Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I think I just sharted jello shots
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
