Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize