Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.

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(214): View more from Texas

Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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(404): View more from Georgia

Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

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(248): View more from Michigan

i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend

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(315): View more from New York

turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes

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(555): View more from

I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom

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