I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
