So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
