If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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