The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
