he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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