a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize