So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
