I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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