first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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