just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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