can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
