Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize