May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
