Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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