so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
