It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
