this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
