i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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