if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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