All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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