i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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