Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
