How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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