These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
