What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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