Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
